Mr. Bentley

So...God basically is ridiculous. Let me tell you about my night. So I went and saw a movie, by myself (it's really not that bad), and I got out and decided before I hit the exit that it was going to be one of those nights. You know, where you're listening to some awesome tunes (in this case, the Rush of Fools CD), and just feel like driving? Well, I decided to take a drive out to see the city... Cincinnati that is. I originally planned on driving through, but figured hey... why not go see fountain square? So I did. It's pretty beautiful at night, with all the Christmas decorations up, everything all lit up... very surreal. It was a good time up to this point.. a lot of stuff has been heavy on my heart lately, it was one of those times to just talk to and enjoy God. I was almost hoping to talk to someone... perhaps share Jesus with them. It's always a refreshing thing to do when you are feeling down or have a lot of stuff on your mind... just forget about your problems and talk to someone else. Lo and behold, as I'm walking back to my car, Mr. Bentley walks up.

Now, I didn't know he was Mr. Bentley yet, but I knew he was homeless, and was going to ask me for money. He did, so I decided to stop and talk to him. He has quite an interesting story. He was very honest with me, he wanted money for beer. Now, that's no good, so instead I have him a $10 gift card I had in my wallet to Starbucks. He knew where one was (right down the street, literally), so hopefully he'll use that and get some drink or food. He was thankful, and I asked him to share his story. He was born and raise in Cincy, has lived here his whole life. He dropped out of high school and was kicked out of his house (which was in the projects, basically), and he's been living on the streets basically ever since. He was a son, who is 2 and 1/2 years old. He frequents downtown, and goes to the homeless shelter to get fed three times a week. I don't know what he does for his other meals.

After listening to his story, and just talking with him about whatever, I steered the conversation to Jesus. He grew up in church, and knew quite a bit about the Bible, but didn't really believe it. He had a hard time accepting that God made a son, who would die. We talked about this for a while, mainly just listening to what he had to say, and trying to ask questions that would make him think. We talked about sin, Jesus' love, God's creation, and a lot of other things. The homeless shelter he went too has a pastor, so I asked him if He would talk to the pastor, and ask him about Jesus, and His Love. He said he would, and then we parted ways.

This was completely awesome... I never really expected that to happen tonight, but I'm so happy it did. I can't help but wonder where Mr. Bentley will go tomorrow, what he'll do, if he'll ever talk to that Pastor, but I know God is in control, and he has seeds in his life. I pray they will be watered. I'm totally psyched right now... I want to go downtown every night and just talk to people.. God definitely taught me, and reminded me of a lot through Mr. Bentley, and I'm thankful I followed that urge to just drive.

Lifting Up My Eyes

So, I definitely should be working, but... you ever get those times where things just 'click'? Now is one of those. I was listening to a podcast of a sermon by K.P. Yohannan. If you don't know who that is, he is the founder of Gospel for Asia, a truly amazing ministry. He's also written several books, all of which I recommend. Now, in some ways, it feels so cheap and hypocritical to say all this. I'm not perfect, I will mess up, probably a lot. But I hope in sharing this, it helps someone, and that we would all realize it's about progressing that relationship with Christ. He is always willing to forgive, we have to accept that, and move past our sin and mistakes.

I'm going to be very honest and transparent here. I've never been at a place so far in my life as hard, painful, crazy as it is right now. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Perhaps I've bitten off more than I can chew, maybe not. This summer is going to be unreal, I have no idea what I'm doing after that (I hope and pray it's Moody, but I'm not sure yet), and there are a many other things on my mind and heart that just make me feel weary, and tired. Now this is a dangerous place to be at. There's nothing wrong with feeling weary, tired, busy, even down. Paul was depressed, even Jesus struggled (in fact, more so than any human ever has, or ever will), but their reactions were Holy. It is a constant struggle for me, every day, to keep the right focus, to hold on to Jesus. And I might have to admit, I'm losing. Or, was.

John chapter four.

31In the mean while the disciples prayed him, saying, Rabbi, eat. 32But he said unto them, I have meat to eat that ye know not. 33The disciples therefore said one to another, Hath any man brought him aught to eat? 34Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to accomplish his work. 35Say not ye, There are yet four months, and then cometh the harvest? behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields, that they are white already unto harvest.

THIS is the correct perspective, looking at the world as Jesus did. Did you catch it? Jesus was so moved by the woman at the well, and the darkness that was in Samaria, that He lost his appetite. When is the last time I was so moved by the fact that people around me do not know Jesus, that I had no desire to eat? That's crazy! I'm so wrapped up in my own thoughts, emotions, desires, that I simply live life and most of the time forget that we're in a war, actually, that Christ even died. We all know and say that He died and rose again, but do we act like it? I know a lot of the time, I don't.

Christ begs his disciples here... Lift up your eyes! See the world as I see it, notice the lost people, and be moved by it, allow it to make you weep, to hurt you, so that you actually care more about them than you do yourself. Keep that in mind, do not let yourself be distracted by what you will eat, what you wear, the things on this earth that don't matter. Live a life that will make a difference in eternity.

That is what I need to do, every single day. It is so easy to lose sight of the goal, of the cross, of Christ, but we must not!

Oh God, tear my heart... let me see the world as you see it, let me love as Christ loved, allow me to care less about myself, and more about the people around me. I give up the things and priorities of this earth, I want to make a difference.

Thunderclouds Broke Over Clear Skies...

And five students from William's College sought cover on the sheltered side of a towering haystack. Their purpose in Sloan's Meadow that August day in 1808? To share their burdens concerning the unreached of Asia, and more importantly, to pray. As the rain bore down, they continued to pray. The result? The American Board of Commissioners for Foreign Missions was formed in 1810, and two years later they sent theirs first five missionaries overseas, to Calcutta, India. They were the first protestant missionaries sent from America to the world.

For me, this is one of the most powerful stories of God's children fulfilling his call. These missionaries had only learned of Asia from their studies of the East India Trade Company, and yet they devoted countless hours of prayer and meditation to it, and then commited their lives to the unreached people there, all before seeing a single picture of the land they would spend the rest of their lives in.

The question I constantly ask myself though, is why do these not occur today? Why have I never experienced something like this? What would it take for me to pray for two hours, in a rainy field, thinking about nothing but the unreached people? Sadly, the answer is simple. Live a Christ centered life. Nothing more, nothing less. To let go of one's idols, and all that we put in front of Christ in our lives, would open up an opportunity, one to by fully led by the Holy Spirit for the work of God.

That's easier said than done.